Time out for an update

Well, I've officially slipped into bad, bad blogger. But honestly, I've been trying to write a post for a while now. Unfortunately, they all go something like this: we are in anniversary season for Little B's diagnosis, and I'm trying to make sense of the past year. It has been the best and worst year of my life. Mostly, the worst, with glimmers of the best. I've been trying to figure out why this has all happened, and I'm coming up empty. Why would a brain tumor happen to this darling child? What justice is there in the universe? Is there a karmic debt that G or I incurred? Maybe there isn't a "master plan," and stuff just happens to people. I'm not sure what thought is more, or less, settling.

And yet my kid is doing so incredibly well, so I need to be happy about that. But I'm not really happy, I'm a little depressed (not clinically) that I have to haul Little B to chemo, because now he understands how he's going to feel after he gets chemo, and that makes him sad and scared. And who really wants that for her child? I'm even more nervous about the day when he starts to understand *why* he has to have chemo. Now we just say that it's so he doesn't throw up so much, but I wonder how long we can hold that line.

In any case, do you see why I haven't been updating? This is pathetically self-involved. Ugh.

But at least it's out there now. So now I'm going to do another post, one more in the spirit of the Weeberts blog... because the boys have been crazy boys lately!